How long after a breakup should you start dating again

Posted by / 29-Feb-2016 05:42

You want to make sure you're not still in post-breakup mode.

You have to get past the (valid and often necessary) stage of curling up on your couch and really mourning the loss of your relationship and to the point where you're back in the swing of work, hobbies, friends, and everything else your life normally includes.

When it comes to post-breakup dating, there are two main philosophies: One is that, if you date right after a breakup, you're rebounding, which is unhealthy.

Then there's the whole idea that "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else." Which is right?

With every breakup, there’s always this point when you’ve stopped crying and you start to think about dating again.

Now here’s the thing: we live in a culture where we’re encouraged to pull up our bootstraps and ‘get back on the horse,’ so to speak – even when it comes to matters of the heart.

How long should you "Most people need a month or two to process the breakup, to mourn, and to integrate lessons before jumping back in if they were in a fairly serious relationship," she says.

Taking a break from dating after a breakup isn't just about licking your wounds, though—it's also about figuring out what you've learned and can carry over to your next relationship, says psychologist Sanam Hafeez, Psy. "The ends of relationships teach us so much about ourselves: our style of communication, whether that style is effective or not, how we handle insecurities, conflict, and co-existing as an individual and as part of a two-some simultaneously," she says.

However, there’s nothing more futile than getting back into dating or a relationship before you’re emotionally ready. My mom has this saying, “The only time you should be dating is when you know you don’t need to be dating.” She’s a wise lady because it’s true.

The only time you should be dating is when you’re already comfortable being single and hanging out solo.

Don’t lose heart: you will move on in time, find a love better suited for you, and all of this will be a memory. If your ex is pushing for friendship, stand your ground if you’re uncomfortable with the idea.

In the meantime, when mourning the end of a relationship, be sure to avoid the following “don’ts” of breakup etiquette, which can just end up harming you more. Right now, you’re not looking for a friend who looks exactly like the person who broke your heart.

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Do you still want to get back together with your ex? You see how all of these things can radically impact your decision as to when to get back out there? I couldn’t convince her to take me back, so I did what I do best – I went back online – literally MINUTES after I returned home from the teary breakup.

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